The Meal This is a fantastic alternative to the megalithic pizza industries who are supplying you with hyper-palatable yet never satisfying foodstuffs. This meagre average-plate-size meat-pizza will satisfy 2-3 hungry beasts, with negligble blood glucose or insulin response, and leave you feeling ready to take on an army. The Ingredients Base: 1lb/500g of mince meat (whatever) 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese 1 egg Random herbs and spices Toppings (ie, select your own damn stuff) 1 cup of grated mozzarella cheese Several slices of beef steak Several slices of pepperoni 150g of marinara mix 1 rasher of...

This is an extremely taste laden and tender dish, sure to corrupt even the most ardent vegan. Prep/cook time: 1 bottle of wine Ingredients 6 pork belly strips 100ml Red wine vinegar 50ml Chimmichurri sauce (olive oil, chilli, and random herbs as a substitute) 1 Tbsp smooshed garlic 1 Tspn smooshed mustard seeds Smokey BBQ stuff (either spice or liquid) Cumin Knock Knock, Cumin Slather some oil across the meat, then rub in the cumin.   The Marinade Combine the red wine vinegar, chimmichurri, garlic, horseradish, and smokey stuff.   Coat the meat in the marinade, leave it for about half an...

This fish and bacon extravaganza will pleasure your tastebuds and leave you satisfied like you’ve never been before. I’ve used Barramundi as the theme ingredient here, it’s an ugly but delicious fish, with plenty of fat and a flesh texture that’s more flakey than a fake-tan blonde. The name is stolen from the Australian Aboriginals, with it’s original meaning being something like “river animal that we eat before Tuesday”. Prep/cook time: 2 glasses of wine. Ingredients 200gm/1.5″ thick Barramundi steak – skin on 2 rashers (slices for you heathens)...